i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize