im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
