I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
