Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
