oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize