Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I see more hoeing in ur future
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
