O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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