Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
