During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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