Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
