I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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