They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
