i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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