my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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