This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The best revenge is premature balding
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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