More tranny stories later!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
