he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
