I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
