Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
