I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
