More tranny stories later!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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