would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
