Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you win again, gameday.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
