I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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