About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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