a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
