ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
