once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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