the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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