I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Every concussion has its silver lining
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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