ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
