if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
