As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I am naked and annoyed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
