her facebook's as public as her vagina
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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