That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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