please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
