When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
