I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
