If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
