margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize