i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
