You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
