2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
