Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize