I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
