Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
