I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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