My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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