I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
