Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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