youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
