i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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