At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
