i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
