Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Four minutes until I can fart!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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