she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
do herpes really smell.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
