Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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