i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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