so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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