He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize