guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
