It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
