How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
