she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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