I want to have your abortion
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
