K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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