I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
