I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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